My Day Off

Today was supposed to be a day off work. Between my two jobs,I rarely get a day off during the weekend let alone in the middle of the week. I was really looking forward to having a day all to myself and just relaxing. I had plans to get up early, go for my 4 mile walk, get a little housework done and then maybe just curl up with a good book. But did it go the way I had planned? No. I went to vote on Tuesday, the nice man working the polls informed me that my drivers license would expire on my birthday in three weeks. I guess I better put that on my "to do" list. The dogs needed dog food and the cupboards were bare. Guess I better put grocery shopping on my list too. As I was getting ready for bed last night, I decided not to set my alarm clock. I gave myself the luxury of sleeping in til 8 a.m. I leisurely drank my coffee while I made up a grocery list. I decided to take my walk when I got back from the BMV and grocery store and skipped my devotions and opted for a hot shower instead. Grabbing my car keys and purse, I wondered if the BMV would be crowded and so I grabbed a book that I have been trying to read for two weeks in hopes of getting in a chapter or two while I waited. To my surprise the BMV was empty and I was in and out with my new drivers license in no time at all. Now to the grocery store. That's when my day started to go downhill. I did my shopping and went to get in line to pay. There were lines at all the checkouts. " Great. The first week of the month." As I stood in line the woman in front of me had three carts. Three! By the time I realized this and decided to back up and get in another line I was already blocked in. So I had to wait. As I was waiting I couldn't help noticing the items she was putting on the conveyor belt. She had a couple bags of Doritoes, about 6 cases of pop, and at least 10 boxes of pop tarts, more chips, cookies, just alot of junk food. I did see a couple cans of vegetables but mostly it was just junk food, and alot of it. Then she paid with her government card. Now don't get me wrong, I am not against anyone getting government assistance. I'm proud to live in a country where our government helps those who find themselves in dire straits. But three carts! I stood there in line and watched the cashier bag all these groceries. I began to think how unfair life is. My husband has a good job. I work two jobs. We make a good and honest living and we can't afford three carts of junk food. I spent my morning writing up a menu for about 7 meals. I wrote a list of all ingredients that I would need. I looked over my necessities such as toilet paper, shampoo, soap, etc. and wrote down only what I could not do without. I searched for coupons. When I got to the store I only purchased what was on my list. I must stay within my budget. In a few weeks my family and I will be flying out west and I need to be cautious of how much money I spend. I have to admit that standing in line watching this lady load all these bags into her cart that I resented her. As I drove home I kept thinking how unfair this life is. You know, you work hard to get the things you want and then someone else who doesn't work at all lives better than you. My mood was quickly taking a downward swing. I got home and carried my bags into the house and found that the our two energetic dogs had gotten hold of a Styrofoam plate and had it all over the house. My downward mood was picking up speed. As I began to pick up the small pieces that were strewn everywhere I began to see that my house needed alot of work. The living room needed dusting. The floor needed vacuumed. The dishwasher needed emptied so that the dishes in the sink could be loaded. There was a pile of mail that needed to be sorted. Laundry was piled high and there were no towels clean. More resentment started to creep into my mind. "This isn't fair", I said to myself. "Three adults live in this house, but I have to clean it all myself". I started to wish that I was at work. Working was easier. I feel appreciated at work.... sometimes. I made up my mind that my walk was going to have to wait and I would do my devotions after that. The more I cleaned the more resentful I became. My day off was turning into a day of work, not fun, not relaxing. I could almost feel my blood pressure rising. My daughter came home from working out at the Y and of course she got the blunt of my frustrations. Did she jump in and start helping me clean? Did she sympathize with me at all. No. No, she just showered and left, probably with her wet towel laying on her bedroom floor. More resentment builds. Why do young adults not care about cleanliness? I hear other people talk in the breakroom at work about how their adult sons and daughters do not take care of things, they don't help around the house, they are not considerate of the things that you worked for. Have we raised up a generation of inconsiderate lazy people? As I vacuum my floors I wonder if my adult children are in this category. I don't want them to be. It makes me doubt myself. Did I raise them right? I make dinner and clean out the frig as I wait for my husband to come home from work. We pray together before our meal. Something we started about a year ago. I'm so grateful. I ask him if I was a good parent. He assures me that we both were. We loved our kids, we disciplined our kids, we sacrificed for our kids. We taught them good morals and values and most importantly, we took them to church and sunday school so they could learn about God. After dinner Jeff went outside to work on our sunroom that he is building. I turned on the radio and cleaned up the dishes. I sang to a worship song on the radio and realized that I never did go on my walk nor did I do my devotions. I went almost all day and never even turned to God's word. Could that be why my day was so lousy? God has given me everything I could ever ask for., a decent home, a wonderful husband, two great kids, a job that I like to go to, and I couldn't even give Him five minutes of my time. The resentment that I had been holding onto all day suddenly turned to shame. I'm so grateful to have a God who forgives. A God who forgives me when I judge people in line at the grocery store. I didn't even know her story. I'm so grateful for a God who forgives me when I lash out at my daughter, who is also His daughter. A God who forgives me when I get too busy for him. Tomorrow I will go back to work. My day off wasn't that productive or relaxing, but I was reminded today that I am truly blessed and tomorrow my day will start out by putting God first.