Today's favorite. Hallelujah!

At first I am afraid , but not because of fear.
But the Holy of Holies is drawing me near.
Your voice like thunder shakes the ground I'm on.

So hide my face in the shadow of your wings, oh Lord.
Hide my sin from the beauty here before your throne.

Hallelujah for the blood of the lamb that was slane.
And so we enter in to see your face, Oh God.

I'm falling to my knees. I feel the earth beneath
with the weight of my sins and this crushing unbelief.
How could you really love me with all that I've done.

You spread your hands and made a refuge for the weak and blessed,
the weary, bruised, and broken. Took our sin, Inside your wounds
we hide away.

Tenth Avenue North

My Day Off

Today was supposed to be a day off work. Between my two jobs,I rarely get a day off during the weekend let alone in the middle of the week. I was really looking forward to having a day all to myself and just relaxing. I had plans to get up early, go for my 4 mile walk, get a little housework done and then maybe just curl up with a good book. But did it go the way I had planned? No. I went to vote on Tuesday, the nice man working the polls informed me that my drivers license would expire on my birthday in three weeks. I guess I better put that on my "to do" list. The dogs needed dog food and the cupboards were bare. Guess I better put grocery shopping on my list too. As I was getting ready for bed last night, I decided not to set my alarm clock. I gave myself the luxury of sleeping in til 8 a.m. I leisurely drank my coffee while I made up a grocery list. I decided to take my walk when I got back from the BMV and grocery store and skipped my devotions and opted for a hot shower instead. Grabbing my car keys and purse, I wondered if the BMV would be crowded and so I grabbed a book that I have been trying to read for two weeks in hopes of getting in a chapter or two while I waited. To my surprise the BMV was empty and I was in and out with my new drivers license in no time at all. Now to the grocery store. That's when my day started to go downhill. I did my shopping and went to get in line to pay. There were lines at all the checkouts. " Great. The first week of the month." As I stood in line the woman in front of me had three carts. Three! By the time I realized this and decided to back up and get in another line I was already blocked in. So I had to wait. As I was waiting I couldn't help noticing the items she was putting on the conveyor belt. She had a couple bags of Doritoes, about 6 cases of pop, and at least 10 boxes of pop tarts, more chips, cookies, just alot of junk food. I did see a couple cans of vegetables but mostly it was just junk food, and alot of it. Then she paid with her government card. Now don't get me wrong, I am not against anyone getting government assistance. I'm proud to live in a country where our government helps those who find themselves in dire straits. But three carts! I stood there in line and watched the cashier bag all these groceries. I began to think how unfair life is. My husband has a good job. I work two jobs. We make a good and honest living and we can't afford three carts of junk food. I spent my morning writing up a menu for about 7 meals. I wrote a list of all ingredients that I would need. I looked over my necessities such as toilet paper, shampoo, soap, etc. and wrote down only what I could not do without. I searched for coupons. When I got to the store I only purchased what was on my list. I must stay within my budget. In a few weeks my family and I will be flying out west and I need to be cautious of how much money I spend. I have to admit that standing in line watching this lady load all these bags into her cart that I resented her. As I drove home I kept thinking how unfair this life is. You know, you work hard to get the things you want and then someone else who doesn't work at all lives better than you. My mood was quickly taking a downward swing. I got home and carried my bags into the house and found that the our two energetic dogs had gotten hold of a Styrofoam plate and had it all over the house. My downward mood was picking up speed. As I began to pick up the small pieces that were strewn everywhere I began to see that my house needed alot of work. The living room needed dusting. The floor needed vacuumed. The dishwasher needed emptied so that the dishes in the sink could be loaded. There was a pile of mail that needed to be sorted. Laundry was piled high and there were no towels clean. More resentment started to creep into my mind. "This isn't fair", I said to myself. "Three adults live in this house, but I have to clean it all myself". I started to wish that I was at work. Working was easier. I feel appreciated at work.... sometimes. I made up my mind that my walk was going to have to wait and I would do my devotions after that. The more I cleaned the more resentful I became. My day off was turning into a day of work, not fun, not relaxing. I could almost feel my blood pressure rising. My daughter came home from working out at the Y and of course she got the blunt of my frustrations. Did she jump in and start helping me clean? Did she sympathize with me at all. No. No, she just showered and left, probably with her wet towel laying on her bedroom floor. More resentment builds. Why do young adults not care about cleanliness? I hear other people talk in the breakroom at work about how their adult sons and daughters do not take care of things, they don't help around the house, they are not considerate of the things that you worked for. Have we raised up a generation of inconsiderate lazy people? As I vacuum my floors I wonder if my adult children are in this category. I don't want them to be. It makes me doubt myself. Did I raise them right? I make dinner and clean out the frig as I wait for my husband to come home from work. We pray together before our meal. Something we started about a year ago. I'm so grateful. I ask him if I was a good parent. He assures me that we both were. We loved our kids, we disciplined our kids, we sacrificed for our kids. We taught them good morals and values and most importantly, we took them to church and sunday school so they could learn about God. After dinner Jeff went outside to work on our sunroom that he is building. I turned on the radio and cleaned up the dishes. I sang to a worship song on the radio and realized that I never did go on my walk nor did I do my devotions. I went almost all day and never even turned to God's word. Could that be why my day was so lousy? God has given me everything I could ever ask for., a decent home, a wonderful husband, two great kids, a job that I like to go to, and I couldn't even give Him five minutes of my time. The resentment that I had been holding onto all day suddenly turned to shame. I'm so grateful to have a God who forgives. A God who forgives me when I judge people in line at the grocery store. I didn't even know her story. I'm so grateful for a God who forgives me when I lash out at my daughter, who is also His daughter. A God who forgives me when I get too busy for him. Tomorrow I will go back to work. My day off wasn't that productive or relaxing, but I was reminded today that I am truly blessed and tomorrow my day will start out by putting God first.

Teenagers, Mud, and Worship!

My daughter, Val and I recently took three teenagers to the Alive christian Music Festival. What an awesome week! It rained everyday and everything turned to mud. But God is so good! It stopped raining long enough for the bands to perform, and perform they did! The Newsboys put on an amazing show and David Crowder had all the people up and on their feet singing praises to God as loud as they could. All the bands were great. All the speakers were great. Many people got saved! And I believe God was smiling down on us.

This is Derrick and Tre in their little tent. We banned them from the camper. Its girls only!
This is Derrick and Lexi. Two of the teenagers hanging with us at Alive. They are practicing for the "Alive's Got Talent" auditions. They didn't win but they gave it their all. I was very proud of them!
Valerie's muddy feet. They look pretty good on this day.

Praising under open skies, everything breathing praising God!

My cousin, my friend

When you were growing up, did you have a favorite cousin? Back in the day, families were close, not only emotionally but physically. I lived just down the street from my cousins. We were inseparable. Summers seemed to last forever, and on any given day you could find us playing at the grade school, building forts in the woods, walking the railroad tracks, or playing tin can alley when it grew dark. I would have to say that back then my best friend/cousin was Allison. We were together everyday. She was two years younger than I was, but that didn't matter to me and my twin. Allison was our best friend even if she was our cousin.
When I was about 12 or so another cousin moved into my little town. I didn't know Heidi very well. The only thing I knew about her was that she had lived all over the world and she spoke another language. I was so amazed by her.
I don't know when we became close friends/cousins. Looking back, I cannot pinpoint a particular time when we even started hanging out together. It just happened. Somewhere along the way Heidi and I became best friends. Somewhere along the way I also found out that she was a Navy brat and she really didn't live all over the world nor did she speak another language. But that didn't matter, I was still amazed by her. After all, I had never been away from my little town, and she came all the way from a far off land called Connecticut.
I remember the funny things we used to do, hanging out at her house. By the way, her house was the coolest house to hang out in..she had a pool in her house that we could swim in during the winter months..how cool is that? She had a spiral staircase and a sunken bathtub. And she had very cool parents. These are things you just didn't see in this little town I grew up in during the 70's. Anyways, we spent many nights calling up the local radio station requesting our favorite songs, trying to get a tan on her balcony (yea, she even had a balcony)! Oh did I mention we tried to get a head start on our tans by laying out in the middle of February in Ohio! We celebrated my 16th birthday at her house with my twin and another cousin, Sheryl. But before we could do that we had to do a "Chinese fire drill" at the the traffic light in our little town. Sadly to say that there are only two traffic lights in our town and there were no other cars at this particular light. But we still performed the drill and ran around the car like yoo-hoos, but it was fun, we thought we were rebels! After turning 16, we spent our Friday nights cruising the boulevard, eating at Burger King and then heading off to Parrel to the skating rink.
That was thirty years ago. I recently spent some time with my cousin, Heidi. She's no longer a navy brat, but an Army wife. She hasn't lived in Mayberry for many many years but now calls Alaska home. Friends may come and go in your lifetime, but there's something special when your best friend is also your cousin. No matter how long we are away from each other, when we do see each other we always just pick up where we last left off.
So if its been awhile since you talked to that favorite childhood relative, maybe you should get a hold of them and pick up where you last left off.

When I Die

Three or four days a week, I meet with a friend to work out. Monday morning we were working out and catching each other up on how we spent our weekend when she told me that her friend had passed away over the weekend. The man who died was about three years older than me and had went to the same high school that I had went to. There were a few other ladies exercising with us and joining in on the conversation. The talk was mostly about the widow and how she would handle the loss of her husband. They talked about how young she is and in good shape, that she would probably find another person to love and love her back, and I guess they are probably right but all I could think about was, "was Jack a christian? Did he believe Jesus to be his savior? Had he ever asked God to forgive him?", where is he now and where will he be for the rest of eternity. For several days now that is all I can think about. I started thinking back at some of the people that I have lost, both of my grandparents, a couple Uncles-in-law. Were they Christians? Did they have a personal relationship with Jesus? I read a book about a year ago titled, "23 minutes in Hell" by Bill Wiese. In his book, he describes how God had showed him hell. His story is terrifying. I can't imagine my grandparents suffering the way his book describes suffering or my husband's late uncles who were just the sweetest men on this earth. I sit and think to myself, that I should have mentioned Jesus to my relatives at least once. I should have asked them what they believed in. But I didn't and now its too late. I will never know. Why is it easier to witness to total strangers than it is to witness to family members? So I have decided that everyone who is close to me should know where I stand. So that when I die, (yep its gonna happen to me too some day),no one will have to wonder where I am or where I am spending eternity. Here's my testimony to any one who cares: I have always believed in a loving God. For as long as I can remember . Its what I was taught. I always went to Sunday School. I was in the choir. I was a good girl who tried to always please every one. but I found out that didn't mean anything.
The summer between seventh and eighth grade I attended church camp. First time ever. I loved it. It was sports camp and we held our own Olympics. I was very nervous as it was the first time my twin did not accompany me. One night at camp we had a speaker tell us how Jesus loved us so much that He died for each one of us, He paid the price for our sins. He also said that you can go to church every day for the rest of your life, you can give all your money to the church, you can be nice, and you can be a people pleaser but its not going to get you into Heaven. You must have a personal relationship with Jesus. You must ask Him to forgive you and you must become obedient to Him. He told us it was not enough to just believe in Him, even Satan and his demons believe in Him. I had to turn my life over to Him and that's what I did that hot summer night. I gave my life to Jesus. I went home a new person. I was a new creation. Life couldn't have been better. Fast forward 9 years, I just gave birth to my daughter. I was overwhelmed with the miracle of life. This beautiful baby was mine. I just couldn't believe God would bless me and my husband with such a beautiful child. I decided to be obedient and get baptized. Well, I had already been baptized in my church when I was about 12 because its what was expected of me but I didn't really understand it. The preacher dropped a few drops of water on my head and then on the head of my twin and that was that. Now I felt so blessed that I really wanted to be baptized and three months later I was baptized, fully immersed, in a pool down the road. I went on with my life, married to my best friend, mother of a daughter then blessed with a son. I got so busy going to PTA meetings, ball games, swimming and judo lessons, that I put Jesus on the back burner so to speak. Oh I still believed in Him, I still said a five minute prayer every night before going to bed. But my devotion went to my family first. I no longer had time to really study God's word, or to spend a lot of time talking to God. Until...until a storm blew in and made my world go dark. My husband couldn't help me and my kids couldn't help me. I knew I had to turn my life back over to Jesus. He would take away my pain. I needed to trust Him again. So one night a couple of years ago, during revival at my church, I knelt at the altar and gave my life back to Jesus. Now (just like the song) I will move ahead bold and confident, taking every step in obedience. So for anyone who might wonder where I will spend eternity...no need to worry..my hope is in Jesus!